I found out yesterday that there is (maybe, I’m not exactly a reliable narrator about this stuff) a theory of quantum mechanics (the physics thing) called the Many Worlds Interpretation. If I’m understanding correctly, MWI puts forth that there are an infinite number of universes all existing at the same time. Yes, this means parallel universes, like you see on the Star Trek episodes which are kind of campy and fun where Mirror Spock has a beard or Mirror Kira is dressed up in bondage wear.
Apparently, the physicist who first published about this theory, Hugh Everett, was so derided and laughed at that he dropped out of science completely in the 50’s. But since the 70’s it has become a well-accepted part of quantum physics. (At least I think so.)
So anyway, what does this have to do with me? Well, obviously, all I need to do to see Mirror Sarah is (1) create my own particle accelerator at home; and (2) open up a small black hole; and (3) jump into an alternative universe and find her. It’s just that easy. Or not.
What if Mirror Sarah turned out to be one of those incredibly vain and effortlessly popular 16 year-olds walking around with headphones and a full face of make-up and perfectly coiffed hair? The kind of girls who intimidated me in high school and still do? Probably she wouldn’t smile, but would walk right past me, sneering a bit at my Mom Jeans. That would be rough.
Or what if I found that in another universe I had her much younger, say 25, and then had 2 or 3 other kids, but went through an ugly divorce. And I would have never met Max. I could have married one of the not-very-nice guys I dated in my twenties. Oh no.
I remember on August 18 when I got the telephone call from Max that Sarah had died my father urged me to stay over in New York City and not try to drive home. But I just had to get back home. I got in our old wheelchair van and started the trip through the Lincoln Tunnel, down the Jersey Turnpike, Delaware, and then across Maryland. The whole time I listened to an old Van Morrison CD I had in the car, repeating and repeating the song “Warm Love,” and crying.
Inside it’s warm love
Inside it’s warm love
And it’s ever present everywhere
And it’s ever present everywhere
That warm love
The First Year Without Sarah 