The Parks Department contacted me that Sarah’s memorial bench is ready, and they want to meet us at the park to consult on a spot on where to put it. So we are going to do that on Tuesday August 8. It would be nice to have the bench in place sometime around the anniversary of Sarah’s death on the 18th. Even if it isn’t in place for a while, I can go visit it with Polly on our walks, and tend it and leave flowers and tsatskes and stuff. I’ll be the weird lady at the park who yells at people for putting their feet on the bench. Maybe not.
I’m trying not to be so prickly. A friend emailed yesterday to invite me out to lunch and I just felt so angry. This is August! It’s Death Month! I couldn’t really put my finger on what my expectations of my friend were, what I wanted from her. I feel like I want everyone in the world to wear a special button or badge, or put a special signature line in their emails acknowledging Death Month. I just want some acknowledgment.
We also have our second meeting of Compassionate Friends tomorrow evening. They told us at the last meeting that the month of your child’s death you are welcome to pass around some pictures of your child and you can also, if you want to, bring something your child liked to eat for the group snack table. When she was really little Sarah liked to eat cupcakes and cake and cookies. I suppose I could just buy something like that and say “Please enjoy these cupcakes from Sarah.” I guess that’s acknowledgment.
The First Year Without Sarah 