Rings

I was thinking about the folktale from Appointment in Samarra. Where the servant sees Death making a threatening gesture toward him in the marketplace, and he borrows a very fast horse from his employer and rides away to Samarra to escape. But Death wasn’t making a threatening gesture, Death was just surprised to see him in the marketplace because they had an appointment in Samarra the next day.

Which goes to show you can’t change fate. All my what-ifs and if-only-I-had-been-theres on the night/morning of Sarah’s death, according to the “fate” theory, would not have changed anything. Sarah was meant to die and she did. It’s hard to accept that.

A friend asked yesterday on Facebook what people would do if they suddenly came into a lot of money. I’m not sure. Fund a cure for SPG4? That seems like it’s years and years away. Fund other worthy charities, help the homeless, help the Innocence Project, stuff like that. But Max and I are stuck right now on even making a new will, much less on spending fantasy money. (Our current will leaves our money and property to fund a trust for Sarah.) We don’t know who and what to do with our money, our things. My engagement ring that was Max’s Grandma Rose’s ring. My other ring that was my Grandma Gertie’s wedding ring. Who will want those? Who should get them?

Who do we leave our house to? Who do we leave our personal property and our money to, assuming we have any left? Not that we are wealthy, but we have a house and we have the detritus people accumulate after years of living and of marriage. Will anyone really care? Will anyone really care?

A house two doors down was owned by an elderly woman when we first moved in, and she was widowed and had no children. She taught Home Economics for many years at the local high school. She eventually stopped being able to get around and she had to go to a nursing home. The house sat vacant for several years and finally her nephew came in as her executor and fixed it up and sold it. A family with some kids lives there now.

I guess I can take my time and think about all this for a while. There’s no rush. But I’ve been thinking lately I really don’t want to live to an advanced age, like 80 or 90. Unless I get my groove back and start feeling better and have something really fulfilling to do.