Today we’re driving to the Jersey Shore and we will be there all week. It’ll be an adult type vacation. We’re trying not to do the kid things we did with Sarah. Maybe we’ll check out the casinos. The beach will be more accessible without pushing Sarah’s chair over the sand and one of us being with her all the time.
I don’t imagine it will be a great trip but I hope it takes the edge off. I just want to get through this week and come out the other side. Officially one year over. Yes, I know some people say the second year is even harder than the first after a loss. I guess that’s because everyone assumes you are “over” it and have moved on. Or maybe because you can’t look back and think, last year we were doing thus and such.
Some of the kids and moms we still know who were in Sarah’s infant group are posting their back to school photos. They are going into their senior year of high school, and they look so grown up. Sarah would be going into her junior year since she repeated kindergarten, and she would be in school until age 21. It’s amazing how much kids change in a year of growth. I wonder how much Sarah’s appearance would have changed between sixteen and a half and seventeen and a half. Probably I’d be shocked to see her face looking so grown up.
There’s a TV show on Netflix right now about young people with Down Syndrome dating, similar to the one that was done for kids with autism. Although these shows are kind of exploitative, I can’t help watching. I love seeing the kids find boyfriends and girlfriends and I love how romantic they are and how seriously they take dating. It reminds me of Sarah and her boyfriend Danny and makes me wonder if he has a new love now. Of course I want him to be happy.
I hope Sarah has found a new boyfriend as well. Or two or three.
The First Year Without Sarah 