Losses

I’m feeling a little anxious this morning after reading a friend’s post on Facebook that her elderly beagle had died. I don’t know anything about the circumstances, if the dog was sick or had cancer or some other ailment.

I think once death visits you, the pump is just primed forever for you to fear it’s always going to be your turn. Polly the beagle is lying here next to me looking pretty healthy for a 12 year-old dog, but I’m scared for her. With that fear comes guilt. Am I doing enough for her? We do feed her too many treats and table food.

Polly is a big part of our old life with Sarah and it will be really hard when she does eventually die. It’s very hard to part with any remnants of that time. I tried the other day to go through some of Sarah’s clothes to donate a few long-sleeved shirts to a charity. But it was so painful to touch and see her little clothes and be thrown suddenly into the sense memories of helping her dress. There are so many little things we did with her and I don’t want to forget them.