Falls

The first time my mom fell and broke her pelvis in a freak accident, she had a hairline fracture and was able to make a fairly full recovery. She used a type of walker called a rollator for years after that, up until the time she fell again inside her apartment and broke her femur. I didn’t think she really needed the rollator after I while and I wondered why she kept using it. It kind of bothered me. It was a pain to get around with and I wondered whether it was a sympathy thing sometimes.

Since I have fallen and busted my wrist, I have a different take. I can imagine she was afraid of falling again after the first accident, and the rollator made her feel a sense of security. A fall really damages your sense of safety and you feel like it can happen again at any time.

Sarah had a very primal fear of falling that people with neurological disorders experience. The fear of falling that infants experience, with that neurological “jerk,” never goes away in people with cerebral palsy. She needed us next to her if she was on an exam table or even a bean bag chair. Her body was telling her she could take a tumble even though it was impossible. We could usually get her calm and override those signals with our presence and reassurance.

It would be nice if we all had a falling coach or team, not just for physical falls, but for all the shit life throws at us.