Many bereaved moms I know seemed to have dreaded Mothers’ Day. I didn’t find it particularly difficult this year, any more so than any other day. I told Max to just get some flowers and a card from him and Sarah and that’s it, and he did a good job. A sweet card and some small purple blossoms, Sarah’s favorite color.
In the afternoon Max, my Dad and I met up with an old family friend for dinner. She has known me since I was born and there was a lot of reminiscing and silly stories about me as a little kid. “Remember when she ran up to the nuns in the supermarket and said ‘Look Mommy, tents!’”
I wasn’t feeling too badly. We did have to wait a long time for our food, probably because of the holiday, but whatever. We were actually eating at a restaurant in the neighborhood of DC where my family lived when I was a little girl. After dinner we drove past our old house.
It’s hard to feel like my whole life has passed by. I guess it must be even harder for my father, who is 91. Sometimes I just wish I could have a do-over. A better way to make it come together. I have to keep practicing my even-ifs.
The First Year Without Sarah 