When I was in Fifth Grade and we finished our work early, we could look at various books or work on projects in the classroom by ourselves. I like to look at The Best of Life, the old Life Magazine photo compilation. There were a lot of photos I looked at many times, but one… Continue reading The Best of Life
Category: Uncategorized
Open House
Now that it’s the first week of July, we are almost practically about to be on the cusp of the first anniversary of Sarah’s death on August 18th of last year. It seems like things are getting more depressing in some ways the closer we get to the anniversary, which makes me think of the… Continue reading Open House
Walk of Shame
I realize yesterday’s post was dark and fairly ghoulish. I’m sorry to have offended or crossed the boundaries of good taste. Sometimes I do feel very bad about myself. I guess I tend to think that if Sarah died at 16, that’s just a prima facie case (as we say in the law) that we… Continue reading Walk of Shame
Cancer
Max and I have start re-watching “Breaking Bad.” We are on the first season where Walter has cancer and is desperate to try to find a way to pay for treatment and also leave his family financially secure if he dies. As we watched scenes of Walter in chemo and radiation clinics, getting his doses… Continue reading Cancer
Balance
It’s 3:16, I’m up, and mulling. The dog woke me up, but I’ve been waking her up early so much I can’t really blame her. I was having a dream about being in a car rolling down our street with the emergency brake not working. (Do people even use emergency brakes anymore? Do they come… Continue reading Balance
Viactiv
Max put some videos on my computer that he had of Sarah. They are mostly of her as a very small child. Our neurogeneticist used to ask for videos sometimes of Sarah doing this or that thing, so he could present Sarah at grand rounds at Kennedy-Krieger. We were not big camera and video parents.… Continue reading Viactiv
Talks
Since I got back from my road trip, Max and I have been talking more, hanging out more, and trying to connect more. We had a couple of intense telephone conversations while I was on the road, and I registered some issues with him that have been bothering me. Like his tendency to tell me… Continue reading Talks
Disappearances
Both the Madame Tootsie Bagel Blog and I took an impromptu hiatus for the last couple of days. I’m sorry if you logged on and thought we had disappeared. Well, we kind of did. On Friday afternoon I had an impulse to get into the car and start driving out to the Midwest. I wanted… Continue reading Disappearances
Fireflies
As I’ve talked about before, I feel like I’ve lost interest in a lot of things I used to do. Many things that used to bring me pleasure or frame my day just don’t anymore. Reading the newspaper. Doing the crossword. Reading a local parenting and chat website that I’ve been looking at all of… Continue reading Fireflies
Wish Trip
Yesterday was the first day of summer which brings us back to the season when Sarah died. The anniversary of her death is less than two months away. Today is June 22nd and her funeral was held on August 22nd last year. It was actually pretty cold and rainy yesterday, not summer weather at all,… Continue reading Wish Trip
The First Year Without Sarah 