Category: Uncategorized

One of the things you’re supposed to do in therapy for prolonged grief is try to reframe the “death story” in a way that alleviates your feelings of guilt, anger and depression. That sounds sort of wishful and magical but I’m working on it. As my long-time followers know I struggle with the fact that… Continue reading New story

Sarah had a children’s book called “Today I Feel Silly” written by Jamie Lee Curtis which explored and named different moods and emotions and it was kind of fun. I looked for it a little while ago but I couldn’t find it. It must be around here somewhere. She had a couple of books by… Continue reading No Title Day

Today I was asked what stage of grief I’m in. I really have no clue. Am I a veteran griever at this point? I still feel like I’m in denial sometimes. I feel angry, I feel depressed, I feel guilty. Who knows. I’m at the stage where everything is about Sarah. I scroll through my… Continue reading Death Junkie

The first year after Sarah died, my brain was so busy trying to figure out where she was. It was like a puzzle I had to solve. I thought about it all the time. Was she still alive in some form or another? How? Would we see each other again? Was she well cared for?… Continue reading Bridge

Max and I walked into our downtown yesterday. I’ve been trying to get out of the house more and I told him I was going to walk to the center of town and he offered to walk with me. We had a really good time which sort of surprised me. I’m not sure why. I… Continue reading Living Donor

I had my first meeting with the Parakeet Lady yesterday, my new talk therapist. The parakeets were not in the room or maybe she covered up their cage because I did not hear them. I told her all about Sarah, and her death, and she asked me a lot of questions about her, her development,… Continue reading Parakeet Lady

This morning when I was walking Polly and she was sniffing around in the daffodils that are growing now at the edge of our lawn near the street, I noticed a little bit of plastic on our lawn. I bent down to pick it up, thinking the wind had blown it from the neighbor’s recycling… Continue reading Sunday

This is a political post about current events. If you don’t like reading them, feel free to skip over. I try to avoid getting dragged into debates about Israel/Palestine/Gaza online, on Facebook and so forth. Facebook seems to be the village square of our time, from where all ugly squabbles generate, and while I’m not… Continue reading Bad Acts

All of a sudden, it feels like there are things happening to me. I don’t believe in that crap about manifesting the “you” that you want to be or however that mantra goes, but I seem to be doing and trying more things. A friend of mine (Hi Margaret!) invited me to go to a… Continue reading More Better

I had a very intense dream last night that I was riding the Metro with an old friend but every time we got close to our stop I couldn’t find her or she disappeared or made an excuse. It’s made me reflect on friendships today, or really the lack of them. It’s not my friends’… Continue reading Metro Stops