I have an old friend from college who settled with her family roughly in the same community that we live in. She and I have maintained our friendship to some extent since the 1980’s. I wouldn’t say that we are close friends, but we text and we get together every once in a while. Of course, we are… Continue reading Coffee
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Queries
Around Christmas when I had some time off, I got caught up in the idea of publishing a book from these blog entries. The first thing you have to do when you want to publish a book, apparently, is find a literary agent. But back up – to find a literary agent, you have to write… Continue reading Queries
Holidays
We are coming up on the double whammy of Valentine’s Day and Sarah’s birthday on February 20th. Preparing for and getting through both of these holidays was always a little difficult, and it still feels hard. Sarah loved them both. I would help her choose a valentine theme and either buy boxed valentines or make homemade valentines… Continue reading Holidays
Body Issues
I started Weight Watchers again yesterday, or as they refer to themselves, WW. It feels like the hundredth time, and while it’s comfortable and comforting to return to this “way of eating,” it makes me sad too that I’ve basically been struggling with weight and body image on and off since I was eight years… Continue reading Body Issues
Remote
What’s the matter with kids today? I feel like Sarah hasn’t been around much lately, except for her really lovely birthday message. She’s a bit distant, a tiny bit remote, maybe off doing something fun and not thinking about us. I always worried that I wasn’t paying enough attention to her. When she was a… Continue reading Remote
Support
Max made the comment the other day regarding our grieving process that he wishes I had more support. He benefits from having a number of people in his AA meeting that have dead children, and they check in with him regularly and talk about Sarah, and give him good support. He’s offered to introduce me to them.… Continue reading Support
Making Space
We went to our grief support group meeting last night. It was an interesting meeting, for the most part. Max and I had missed the last two meetings, in December and January. We traveled in early December, and in January went to my uncle’s funeral in Pittsburgh. It was a long time to go without our grief group. The… Continue reading Making Space
Multiverse
I still get a bit of a shock and a disappointment when I look at the photos on my iPhone and realize there are no new photos of Sarah. There are photos of the trips Max and I have taken since Sarah died, but I’m not a big photographer. Most of the photos on my phone were… Continue reading Multiverse
Birthday
Today is my birthday. When I came downstairs early this morning, after I made my coffee and wandered into my study, I noticed that my computer keyboard was lit up. I bought myself a keyboard with light-up keys a few months ago and I love it. It really makes typing and blogging much easier in… Continue reading Birthday
Lucky
There’s a way I have of looking at my life story where I seem to give myself a kind of downer presentation as the Bad Luck Kid. That I’m always kind of unlucky. That if bad things happen, that if someone got the goose egg, it was me. This way of ruminating on my life ends up… Continue reading Lucky
The First Year Without Sarah 