I really haven’t felt much like writing lately, which is a big change from the first three months of the blog, when I felt like I was bursting with creative energy. I have felt down on my writing, that it’s stupid, silly, and First World nonsense about nothing at all. As opposed to the first… Continue reading Fan and Fern
Tag: child loss
Case Study
I guess the flip side of being empathetic is being oversensitive. I really don’t like using that word, as I have expressed previously, since people are as sensitive as they happen to be. But our triggers that come from past trauma aren’t always rational or productive. Sometimes they hold us back from getting the good… Continue reading Case Study
Women at Work
My Dad and I talked on the phone yesterday like we do most Saturday mornings and he asked me if I was still feeling sad. I know he meant well by the question, and was referring to that particularly depressed period I had a short while ago and not to my grief in general, but… Continue reading Women at Work
The Castle
What is a fifty-nine year old woman supposed to look like? I asked Google this morning and I got some pictures of Christie Brinkley and Maria Shriver. Along with some photos of grandma-ish looking women with white hair. I don’t know whether I’m supposed to be in full grandma mode — of course, I’ll never… Continue reading The Castle
Nurseling
This is the last pictue I ever took of Sarah. I may have posted it before; it’s the icon for the blog anyway. I took it on August 11, 2022 and Sarah died on August 18. I love looking at pictures of Sarah growing up, seeing how her face and hair changed. When she was… Continue reading Nurseling
Physical Comedy
Sarah loved telling jokes and knock-knock jokes were a particular favorite. She had a page of them on her speech device. Knock-knock, who’s there? Boo. Boo who? You don’t have to cry, it’s just a knock-knock joke. I’m told a lot of kids with neurological, developmental or speech issues like knock-knock jokes. They like the… Continue reading Physical Comedy
Miss Tish
I used to like to refer to Sarah as “Mom’s Girl,” as in “How’s Mom’s Girl feeling this morning?” or “Does Mom’s Girl want to watch some YouTube?” Sarah seemed to like being called Mom’s Girl but Max sometimes objected that she was Dad’s Girl too and should be acknowledged as such. Of course, Sarah… Continue reading Miss Tish
Project Linus
A friend messaged and said she had a bunch of jigsaw puzzles she could send me if I needed puzzles. It brought me back to a few years ago, Early and Pre-Pandemic when I was doing 1000 and 1500 piece puzzles pretty regularly. It was my obsession slash compulsion for a while, and then it… Continue reading Project Linus
Fantasy Children
I started watching a documentary yesterday on MAX (yes, we finally are able to get it) about a young Ukrainian girl with disabilities who was adopted by an Indiana family who then gave up on her and basically tried to dump her in a strange town without any resources. It’s called The Curious Case of… Continue reading Fantasy Children
Witches
This morning I woke up feeling somewhere between okay and pretty good for once. Not fantastic or super-pumped, but stable and not on the edge of tears all the time like I have been so much lately. Hmmm. Now I just have to get out ahead of myself before I start feeling guilty about feeling… Continue reading Witches
The First Year Without Sarah 