Maybe twenty or thirty years will go by and suddenly Sarah will pop up one day to visit, like my friend Inga did. I’ll run into her downtown, or at some sort of event, and we’ll hug and I’ll say “You look fantastic, I love what you are doing now with your hair.” We’ll promise… Continue reading Tattoo
Tag: child loss
Attachments
Things seem very busy all of a sudden. I think that’s good. My Dad will be moving down to Maryland in less than a month, and I have to do a walk-through of his new apartment to make sure it is all set up correctly. That will be this coming week. Once Dad moves down,… Continue reading Attachments
Queen of Hearts
It’s August 19, no longer the first year without Sarah. We made it through and we are out the other side. I’m feeling…okay. A little emotionally flat, actually. Getting away to the Jersey Shore helped, although I don’t think I ever want to go back to a casino resort again. We stayed at the Borgata… Continue reading Queen of Hearts
Compensatory Routines
I was thinking about some random doctor we saw sometime over the years with Sarah for an evaluation. Don’t remember why, who, where anymore. I just remember a brief squib of conversation with her about Sarah. She was asking questions about Sarah’s development, and as always we were saying that Sarah had great social skills,… Continue reading Compensatory Routines
Rings
I was thinking about the folktale from Appointment in Samarra. Where the servant sees Death making a threatening gesture toward him in the marketplace, and he borrows a very fast horse from his employer and rides away to Samarra to escape. But Death wasn’t making a threatening gesture, Death was just surprised to see him… Continue reading Rings
Listserv
Vincent Van Gogh said “I don’t know if I’m extremely sensitive or if life is unbearable.” Sometimes I feel the same way. We met with the Parks Department yesterday and chose a spot for Sarah’s Memorial Bench in our local park. It was a good experience. We settled on an area near the infant swings,… Continue reading Listserv
Crossword
This weekend I felt okay, not too bad for the most part. I would say fair to partly cloudy on my grief scale. I tried to push myself to do some things I used to enjoy doing. For instance, I used to really enjoy reading the Sunday newspapers, The Washington Post and The New York… Continue reading Crossword
Pain Pill
So Max and I are trying to make some plans to go out of town next week for the anniversary of Sarah’s death. We’ll be going up to New Jersey, down the shore as they say there. I’m trying to keep my expectations low. We went “down the shore” for several years before Sarah was… Continue reading Pain Pill
Meeting
Last night we went to our second meeting of Compassionate Friends and I have to say it really hit the spot this time. We stayed downstairs in the church where the meeting is held with the “experienced grievers” instead of going upstairs with the beginning grievers and I think that was a better match for… Continue reading Meeting
Death Month
The Parks Department contacted me that Sarah’s memorial bench is ready, and they want to meet us at the park to consult on a spot on where to put it. So we are going to do that on Tuesday August 8. It would be nice to have the bench in place sometime around the anniversary… Continue reading Death Month
The First Year Without Sarah 