We are coming up on the double whammy of Valentine’s Day and Sarah’s birthday on February 20th. Preparing for and getting through both of these holidays was always a little difficult, and it still feels hard. Sarah loved them both. I would help her choose a valentine theme and either buy boxed valentines or make homemade valentines… Continue reading Holidays
Tag: death
Support
Max made the comment the other day regarding our grieving process that he wishes I had more support. He benefits from having a number of people in his AA meeting that have dead children, and they check in with him regularly and talk about Sarah, and give him good support. He’s offered to introduce me to them.… Continue reading Support
Making Space
We went to our grief support group meeting last night. It was an interesting meeting, for the most part. Max and I had missed the last two meetings, in December and January. We traveled in early December, and in January went to my uncle’s funeral in Pittsburgh. It was a long time to go without our grief group. The… Continue reading Making Space
Multiverse
I still get a bit of a shock and a disappointment when I look at the photos on my iPhone and realize there are no new photos of Sarah. There are photos of the trips Max and I have taken since Sarah died, but I’m not a big photographer. Most of the photos on my phone were… Continue reading Multiverse
To Tell The Truth
I finished reading a memoir last night about parenting a child with a rare and fatal genetic disorder called Metachromatic Leukodystrophy. (It’s called Harnessing Grief by Maria Kefalas and it was a good read.) Her mom described being told very flatly by a doctor that her toddler daughter had a progressive degenerative disorder and she was… Continue reading To Tell The Truth
Hot Potato
Yesterday I watched a documentary about The Wiggles on Amazon called Hot Potato. I had lost track of The Wiggles after about 2009, when Sarah moved on to The Doodlebops and other obsessions. The Wiggles remarked in the documentary that their fanbase turns over about every three years, as young children age out of toddlerhood. I had… Continue reading Hot Potato
Screen Shot
For several months I really felt I had nothing to offer my readers and I was pretty determined to stop writing permanently. A couple of days ago a little voice in my head made me decide to go back. Why? I’m not sure. At odd moments, I smell the most intense floral scent. It is an intense scent, like… Continue reading Screen Shot
Hopkins
I have to take my Dad up to Johns Hopkins today, to the main hospital, for a scan. It’s going to pretty much take up the whole day and I’ve arranged to take off work. It’s a bit of a drag because, well, waiting around a hospital is never a whole lot of fun and… Continue reading Hopkins
Next Life
When Sarah first died, I often heard the cliche that “the second year is harder than the first.” This refers to grief, not toddlers. It was hard for me to understand why that would be, and people had a hard time unpacking any explanation. I’ve come to think it’s because the first year is all… Continue reading Next Life
Louis
A woman posted on my parenting chat forum (where all the posts are anonymous) about her difficulties accepting an unexpected disability in her four month old infant. She posted about a month ago, and I just saw her post, so I guess the baby is around five months old now. She was a little incoherent,… Continue reading Louis
The First Year Without Sarah 