Although my mood has been pretty good lately, I’ve been struggling with picking at my face. This is a problem I’ve had from time to time and it sneaks up on me and gets away from me. It’s really a bad cycle because having little sores and scabs on your face (gross, I know) contributes… Continue reading Picking
Tag: death
Birthday Bear
Yesterday was Polly’s birthday. She’s 12 years old. That’s pretty senior for a dog, although beagles live to be around fifteen or so in the right circumstances. We celebrated with treats, singing the Happy Birthday song, and giving her extra love and attention. I felt like Sarah stayed close throughout the day. Polly and I… Continue reading Birthday Bear
Sudden Departures
Right now I’m listening to my yearly mandatory data privacy training in the background so this might be a little disjointed. It feels a bit ironic to be learning about (or tuning out) all this verbiage about structured and unstructured threats, internal and external risks, risk and threat registers, and so forth, when I feel… Continue reading Sudden Departures
Cycling
Max has been pretty down lately and missing Sarah quite a bit. His sadness cycle is occurring while I am feeling more stable overall right now and less depressed. It’s probably better for only one of us to be really down and sad at a time. The other one gets to be the supportive one.… Continue reading Cycling
Duck Duck Goose
Lately I’ve been watching a pretty stupid documentary series on HBO called “Signs of a Psychopath.” Am I the only person who watches stuff like this and then starts wondering if I fit the bill for the diagnosis? I don’t think I’m sadistic or lacking in empathy and I certainly don’t torture small animals. But… Continue reading Duck Duck Goose
Beshert
It’s over. Death Month has officially ended. I’ve flipped both our house calendars to September, the free one from the SPCA and the yearly one with pictures of my niece and nephews and their dog. You can stand down, those of you who have kept vigil with me. Your support is appreciated. What are the… Continue reading Beshert
Beloved
I read a post this morning on the parenting website I occasionally visit from a woman who was upset because her friend lied to her about receiving a big bouquet of flowers. The poster was convinced it was a lie because she recognized the photo her friend sent was a stock image from Google. I… Continue reading Beloved
Three-Hour Tour
After I published yesterday’s post about feeling like there was a “New Me” possibly developing, I was lying on the couch, really feeling pretty proud of myself for being such a Mental Health Poster Child. I patted myself on the back, foreseeing that the worst could be over with Sarah’s death. Who were these fools… Continue reading Three-Hour Tour
Kitchen
So yesterday I cracked open 45 dozen eggs. That’s 540 eggs. I cracked the eggs into a huge sieve and sort of mixed them up and down with a metal ladle so that they flowed down into a big plastic container. Then I covered up the container, dated it, and put it in the “walk-in.”… Continue reading Kitchen
Yahrzeit
Our Yahrzeit candle for Sarah ended up burning until last night. We lit it on Friday night, the anniversary of her death, and it lasted until Wednesday. Is this a miracle on the order of Hanukkah? Should I contact the Jewish Vatican? Probably not. We didn’t buy an authentic “Yahrzeit” candle from a Jewish store,… Continue reading Yahrzeit
The First Year Without Sarah 