I have an old friend from college who settled with her family roughly in the same community that we live in. She and I have maintained our friendship to some extent since the 1980’s. I wouldn’t say that we are close friends, but we text and we get together every once in a while. Of course, we are… Continue reading Coffee
Tag: depression
Making Space
We went to our grief support group meeting last night. It was an interesting meeting, for the most part. Max and I had missed the last two meetings, in December and January. We traveled in early December, and in January went to my uncle’s funeral in Pittsburgh. It was a long time to go without our grief group. The… Continue reading Making Space
Multiverse
I still get a bit of a shock and a disappointment when I look at the photos on my iPhone and realize there are no new photos of Sarah. There are photos of the trips Max and I have taken since Sarah died, but I’m not a big photographer. Most of the photos on my phone were… Continue reading Multiverse
Lucky
There’s a way I have of looking at my life story where I seem to give myself a kind of downer presentation as the Bad Luck Kid. That I’m always kind of unlucky. That if bad things happen, that if someone got the goose egg, it was me. This way of ruminating on my life ends up… Continue reading Lucky
Hopkins
I have to take my Dad up to Johns Hopkins today, to the main hospital, for a scan. It’s going to pretty much take up the whole day and I’ve arranged to take off work. It’s a bit of a drag because, well, waiting around a hospital is never a whole lot of fun and… Continue reading Hopkins
Next Life
When Sarah first died, I often heard the cliche that “the second year is harder than the first.” This refers to grief, not toddlers. It was hard for me to understand why that would be, and people had a hard time unpacking any explanation. I’ve come to think it’s because the first year is all… Continue reading Next Life
Louis
A woman posted on my parenting chat forum (where all the posts are anonymous) about her difficulties accepting an unexpected disability in her four month old infant. She posted about a month ago, and I just saw her post, so I guess the baby is around five months old now. She was a little incoherent,… Continue reading Louis
Life Expectancy
Yesterday I was thinking about a special needs kid who Sarah rode the Camp JCC bus with, and the thought flashed through my mind that this girl would have to ride alone now. Then I remembered that she had died a few months before Sarah. Like Sarah she died in her sleep. This led me… Continue reading Life Expectancy
Badge
I kind of cried my way through the Compassionate Friends meeting yesterday. When we arrived at the meeting, we were given personalized badges that were made for us by one of the group leaders who does this sort of thing for the newish members. They are just plastic badges with clips on them, and there’s… Continue reading Badge
Trick or Treat
My mood is pretty poor these days and it makes me not want to inflict myself on an audience. When I first started this blog, I pictured turning it into a book. There would be a beginning, where I was in deep mourning about Sarah, then I would start to feel better, and develop a… Continue reading Trick or Treat
The First Year Without Sarah 