Once again I have been perseverating on how Sarah died, and to a certain extent on how my mother died, which fills up the extensive mental real estate not preoccupied by the subject of where Sarah is now. I know that Sarah most likely died during a seizure. Her death certificate states “Asphyxia” as the… Continue reading Obligate Aerobes
Tag: special needs child
Dedication
Yesterday I noticed that the flowers are already starting to bloom here. We had a very mild winter in DC. That makes all seasons that Sarah has been gone: summer, fall, winter, and spring. Although it has only been six months and ten days. But time is not always reliable for me right now. Lately… Continue reading Dedication
Breaking Up
From the time Sarah was a toddler, she would get fixated on particular movies or television shows and then all of a sudden she would have enough and she never wanted to see them again. When she was really little, she loved the movie Babies, which is about four little ones from different parts of… Continue reading Breaking Up
Spirit Week
I was going to start writing this morning about Rare Disease Day, which falls on February 28, and harangue you about its meaning and importance. Yes, close call for you guys. Instead, Facebook’s “Memories” feature dragged up a post of mine from 2016 that grabbed my attention and even got me laughing a little bit.… Continue reading Spirit Week
Losing a child
This morning while cruising through Facebook I saw one of those “harried mom” memes in which the mom said she must be doing okay because she hadn’t lost any of her children or pets today. I get that. Losing your kid in an airport, or mall, or parking lot is really horrible. I never exactly… Continue reading Losing a child
Self Care
This week I was at the dentist getting a dental crown replaced, and she discovered a small cavity underneath the crown when she took it off. “I can just remove that small cavity right now,” she said reassuringly. (Dr. Ramdath at The Smile Atelier is a terrific dentist if you are in need, by the… Continue reading Self Care
Flirting With Disaster
I woke up screaming again this morning at around 3:30. I really feel bad for my husband at this point, as this is the third time in the last couple of weeks he has been awakened by my shrieking “You f&%ing a$$h#le” or words to that effect. I hope he’s not getting a complex. I… Continue reading Flirting With Disaster
Trips
One week from today will be March 1. February has been a hard month in so many ways and I do want it to pass away. And in March, Max and I will take a trip to the UK. We haven’t really traveled other than long weekends at the Jersey Shore, our Wish Trip in… Continue reading Trips
Maladaptive Behavior
This morning Google News sent me a Psychology Today article letting me know that there are 3 Ways My Personality Might Be Secretly Harming Me. (Only 3?) It seems, according to Mark Travers, Ph.D., that we all need to “check in” with ourselves regularly to avoid slipping into maladaptive behavioral patterns, although Mark does not… Continue reading Maladaptive Behavior
Deep winter thoughts
I’m not in a good place this morning. That business about letting go of resentment that I wrote about a few days ago seems to have come back to mock me. I have finally gotten around to watching a webcast of a seminar at National Institutes of Health last spring, ‘De Novo SPG4 Inaugural Symposium.’… Continue reading Deep winter thoughts
The First Year Without Sarah 