When I bought my car last summer shortly after Sarah died, trading in our wheelchair van, the young salesman was so happy and excited. It was his first sale and he’d been working at the dealership for several months. “You’re going to sell ten cars now,” I told him. I was glad to be his… Continue reading Foster Talk
Tag: special needs child
Coverage
Facebook Memories reminded me this morning that I posted in 2014 about being turned down on appeal to our medical insurance to cover the $20,000 cost of Sarah’s whole exome testing. Whole exome testing was new and Johns Hopkins sent the test out to a private company called Genentech. This was the test that Sarah… Continue reading Coverage
Mind-Body
I’m reading a new book, The Grieving Brain, that talks about how the brain responds to grief and loss and how grieving changes the brain. I’m only about 30 pages into it but it’s making me cry a lot. So far the book is talking about how we have a primitive part of our brains… Continue reading Mind-Body
Siberia
Today Psychology Today served up an article for me about why abrasive people act the way they do. “Understanding the Abrasive Individual” referred to the personality quality as antagonism. Sometimes I’m afraid I’m an abrasive individual. But I think I’m also kind and try to be aware of other peoples’ feelings. Although I do speak… Continue reading Siberia
Doodlebop Pledge
So we went to our first Compassionate Friends meeting yesterday evening. Feelings are mixed but initial impressions were good. We were thoroughly and warmly welcomed by the rather large group of facilitators, given name tags, shown their refreshment table and lending library. We got a good vibe from the leaders, who seemed to have genuine… Continue reading Doodlebop Pledge
Separation Anxiety
Sarah had the usual infant’s separation anxiety. I remember when we introduced her to her Uncle Jeff at about six months, and he picked her up from my arms, she began crying to go back to me. I found it very gratifying that she was so attached to us. But now I feel like the… Continue reading Separation Anxiety
Real Grief
I really hope that at this time next year I can look back on this summer and just think, Wow, I was really a total mess. What a hard time I was having. I don’t know how I got through that, thank the Lord I won’t ever feel that shitty again. I always felt like… Continue reading Real Grief
Control
Did I do much of anything yesterday? The cleaners came, so I tried to get out of the house and out of their way, and I bought some bagels, and I just drove around for a while. Part of me still really feels this strong urge to go — somewhere — but I have no… Continue reading Control
Comfy Chair
I hate hearing that old prayer “If I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take.” Why should kids have to worry about dying during their sleep? Sarah did not like to go to bed, and even though she took naps for years, until about age 11, and definitely needed… Continue reading Comfy Chair
Last Summer
It’s July. Last year Sarah was in camp for a couple of weeks after school ended and then went to Extended School Year classes for most of July and the beginning of August. She saw the new Minions Movie with us and Daniel and loved it. After that there was about three weeks until school… Continue reading Last Summer
The First Year Without Sarah 