This is Presidents Day weekend, Sarah’s birthday weekend. We are planning to go out to dinner on Sunday with Sarah’s tutor, who we were all close to, but have vague “we’ll do something” plans for Monday. Perhaps I will get a pedicure with purple or pink polish. This morning I read a BBC News article… Continue reading Childless
Tag: SUDEP
Untitled
These last few days my usual emotional repertoire since August 18 of guilt, depression, angst, and constant tearfulness seems different. A couple of nights ago, I woke up from a dream screaming. I remember that someone was trying to steal the new car I bought in place of our wheelchair van, and leave me three… Continue reading Untitled
PTSD
Yesterday afternoon I got a text from my father telling me that my sister-in-law is in the hospital due to a serious health issue that occurred while she and my brother were vacationing. She is in good hands, but will have to have some surgery and remain in the hospital for a couple of weeks.… Continue reading PTSD
Taconic Parkway
It seems to be the symbol of all my guilt and grief at this point. Why? I was not at home when Sarah died. I had gone up to New York City on Tuesday afternoon August 16 to help my Dad, who is 90, tour an independent living facility in Albany. It was so rare… Continue reading Taconic Parkway
Big questions
One of the issues I wrestle with since August 18 is whether I am still a mother. When your only child dies, are you a parent anymore? Max and I not only really, really enjoyed being Sarah’s parents, but because of her progressive and rare medical condition our whole lives basically revolved around her care.… Continue reading Big questions
Of course, this is nothing compared to what you are going through
I hear this so much. It seems like every time I have a real moment of connectivity with someone or get to spend a little while talking about their issues for a few minutes, I get slammed back to inner space. In their minds, their problems are not relatable to la grande tragedie. I am… Continue reading Of course, this is nothing compared to what you are going through
The First Year Without Sarah 